I need a break

It feels a little like life has had a jolly time kicking me around the last couple days. So to lift my spirits, I am going to make let you all enjoy my 1963 Better Homes and Gardens Barbecues and Picnics cookbook: The newest in barbecuing! 135 recipes for cookouts, porch suppers, picnics.

And then I'll include something from Cooking with Cheese.

You come here for excitement, right?


Strap yourself in. The first recipe is strange enough that I believe it could taste pretty interesting, but in the 21st century it is probably illegal to cook it.

Nutty Pups
A new favorite for all ages
Broil franks to suit yourself. Serve in hot toasted buns spread with chunk-style peanut butter. Great when made with Frank Wrap-ups. Pass pickle relish.

I adore peanut butter and pickle sandwiches and this seems a little like that. I've heard of people who eat peanut butter and baloney. Not much different. Frankly, I know you are burning with desire to know about the Frank Wrap-ups.

Frank Wrap-ups
Slit frankfurters lengthwise to about 1/4 inch from each end; stuff with pickle relish and wrap each with a bacon strip, anchoring ends with toothpicks. Broil over hot coals, turning once, till filling is hot and bacon crisped. (Remember to remove toothpicks anchoring bacon.)

I know there must be a joke in there about removing the toothpicks, but I'm distracted. Those wrap-ups seem like a whole lotta work and how is the pickle relish going to stay inside the hot dog? Also on the rare occasion when I have tried the bacon-wrapped hot dog thing, the bacon doesn't actually cook to crispy. Is it just me?

OK, so back in 1963, canned luncheon meeet was either still very popular or the Spam/Armour folks paid for lots of recipes judging from the number of times canned luncheon meeet is mentioned in these books. Here are some fun ones for your next party.

Get your spit ready!

Cheese-frosted Luncheon Meat
Anchor canned luncheon meat on a spit. Blend 2 parts triple-use cheese spread and 1 part Dijon-style prepared mustard; slather on all sides of meat. Grill over hot coals till golden brown. Slice and serve with dill pickle slices on toasted rolls. Pass extra sauce.

Lunch-on-a-stick
Thread 1-1/2 inch squares of canned luncheon meat on skewers with quartered orange slices (cut thick, with peel on) and canned sweet potatoes. Broil over slow coals; turn often and brush with glaze. Glaze: Combine 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup orange juice, 1/4 cup vinegar, and 1 tablespoon prepared mustard; simmer uncovered 10 minutes.

"Canned luncheon meeet" sounds like a polite way of saying something else like telling someone you have to go "down the hall" when really you need to piddle.

Next up is Cooking with Cheese from 1966, which you can see from the photo that cooking is spelled with a lowercase C and cheese is in caps. Clever typography to catch your eye. I have a number of these cookbooks and they all have something going on to get your attention. I go to jumble sales and I can't pass these things up. Maybe they're all over the country, but they are published here in Des Moines, so they're e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e around this town.

Here are two dips for that meeet party I'm convinced you're planning and not inviting me to.

Low-calorie dip
1 12-ounce carton (1.5 cups) cream-style cottage cheese
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
1 teaspon salad-spice-and-herb mix
In electric blender or mixer, blend all ingredients until almost smooth. Chill. Garnish with snippets of parsley. Pass celery and carrot sticks. Makes about 1-1/2 cups dip.

Dip Away Diet Dip
Beat one 12-ounce carton small curd cream-style cottage cheese, 1-1/2 teaspoons instant minced onion and 1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt with electric mixer. Chill. Stir in 1 tablespoon finely chopped canned pimiento or snipped parsley. Serve with relish sticks.

If you make anything, let me know! I'm going to go ice my hamstring, chew my fingernails and stare blankly.