My crazy neighbor

I promised you some time ago that I would talk about my crazy neighbor. We have three in the neighborhood, but she really takes the cake among them.

Let me start with the RV situation. There's an RV at the neighbor's across the street. This shot is taken facing east, so as you may imagine if you shut your eyes and think hard, the sun sets behind me and therefore shines on the camper in the afternoon. There is a reflection from the light hitting the camper that shines OH! SO! BRIGHTLY! into her window where she sits all the time. This light is piercing! for probably all of 8 minutes.

So she called the police department.



Do you see the truck parked on the street in the photo above? It is on the proper side of the street and facing the correct direction, but it is near the end of her driveway.

So she called the police department.

Finally that neighbor who is a very nice man named Wendell called the police department where he knows someone and he found out that she had called the police 60+ times that year because of all the infractions of her neighbor to the south (us) and her neighbor to the east (him).

We laughed.

We have an RV that is entirely within the city's rules for where it is parked alongside our house. Take a look at the photo below to see the property line. She called and the city sent out an inspector to be sure we were parked properly. He called to let us know we are not only in compliance, but more so than most people in town. Anyway...the property line:



Can you pick it out? The stake, sure. But look along to where the wooden border starts. That was put in by my husband after an argument about who-remembers-what. Then she started mowing the lawn so that all her grass clippings blew into the little shrubs along the driveway. So the wooden border turned into a small wall. She didn't like that, so she planted a tree near the property line. That was probably because we took down a tree to expand the driveway. That made her angry, which I really did understand. I wasn't happy about it either and there was a wee argument over here, too. Clearly, I lost. Anyway, then she planted a flowering shrub on the property line. As it grew, it began to arch over the property line. Now she wraps cord around the bush to keep it from going over the property line.

Seriously.

We know all about the property line because that stake has been there now for many years. The same stake. Year after year.

She's been feuding with my husband for years.

The little man below showed up to stick out his tongue at us a few years back. He shows up without fail now early every spring.



She hates us.

The photo below says more than the ones above. Years ago, she put a half-eaten flower bulb on the top of the trash can in our driveway. Hours later, I hear shouting. The two of them are going at it like screaming fishwives or Housewives from New Jersey. It went something like this:

Did you put this bulb on my trash can?
Yes, I did.
Why did you do that?
To show you the damage.
The damage?
Yes! Your rabbits are ruining my garden.
MY! RABBITS? We live in Iowa, we have a million rabbits and none of them are mine.
It's all your fault we have too many rabbits.
It's my fault? Are you out of your mind?

Somehow, and please don't ask me how because I was in the house pretending I didn't know this was going on, the screaming match conversation actually got worse.

You keep building and building. You tore down that tree for a bigger driveway and you have that big RV and now you're building a deck.
I'm replacing the existing deck that was falling off the house.
But you're making it bigger!
What do you care if my deck is bigger?
Everything with you has to be bigger, bigger!
Woman, you need to be sure to take your medication.
(Yes, he went there. Nice, huh?)
I don't take medication!
Well that explains a lot, lady. And don't you ever put anything on my trash can again! Don't even come onto my property, you nut job!

I was A-PALLED and I still am. [hangs head]



I cringe at the thought of this story. All of the dialogue above took about 30 seconds and I ran though the house to stick my head out of the back door. I did something wifely like sent a brain-blasting glare that every husband within a 50-mile radius felt.

A quarter of a million men simultaneously said, "What? What did I do?"

Thus ended the intense neighborly fellowship.

Anyway, this barricade went up last week, maybe two weeks ago. Apparently our rabbits are eating her flowers. Again.

Update on Boomer/BBQ

I saw Galen the Raccoon Dad yesterday and he said he met with the rehabber and everything went without a hitch. She said the baby was only a few days old and everything he did (and me, too, with the rice sock and heating pad) was just perfect. Raccoons can't have straight milk replacer and Galen knew that. He made up the raccoon milk recipe and that's what the baby had been taking.

It is possible, very possible, mama had just given birth to Boomer when the scared her off. Poor thing. The rehabber explained what she does and how things will go from now on. Handling the raccoon was OK, but there will be very little handling now so as it to keep it wild. Best case is that when he gets old enough and is moved to the final kennel with the door that is always open, he will leave and not come back.

Thanks to Michelle at Rambling Woods for being willing to help me when I needed to ask for reassurance.

Last week I looked into the freezer and saw two huge pork roasts from a few months back. I needed the room, so I put them in the fridge to thaw and I decided to have a BBQ today. I made pulled pork and macaroni salad and two desserts. I bought patriotic decorations and did up the deck. I cut peonies and bought sugary drinks the kids are normally allowed to have. Everyone showed up and had a good time despite the heat. The kids got tired and started to cry, which ended the party at the two-hour mark and right now my portion of the crying children are asleep in separate bedrooms.

It's been a good day. Hope you are enjoying your summer kick-off.

Oh, the plans I had!

I had plans for this evening. Walk, swim, groceries, banana bread...

I was in the middle of the walk when I was called for "emergency child care" of an infant raccoon.

When I say infant, I mean about a week old, maybe?

It is draped over one of my old socks that is stuffed with rice and had been warmed in the microwave. I was alone with him for about 90 minutes and I just didn't know what to do. When I got home, he was cold. They lose heat very quickly; they haven't much hair. It looks hairy, but along the bottom and on the legs, there wasn't hair beyond fuzz. Mostly just skin. This little fellow's eyes are still closed and his ears are still stuck to his head.

He's so new.

Let me introduce you to his "dad" Galen:
Galen works for a company that leases out huge land-moving equipment. They had put a big crane and boom into a locked building three days ago and when it was moved, the mama ran off out of the boom. Today they moved the boom and little Boomer here fell all the way to the ground and survived (he's injured around the mouth and jaw). I thought surely the mama must have been able to come back, but the DNR said it was possible for him to have survived three days alone. I'm just not sure! He's tiny and so helpless. Galen held him all day long to keep him warm and made a special formula just for raccoons because they can't simply have milk replacer.

I couldn't get the little devil to eat more than a few drops and when I tried to put him down he cried so loudly it tugged at my heart really bad. I got a heating pad and put his box half on, half off with some clean shop towels inside. He liked that because he settled down. I ran upstairs and when I came back, he was so quiet I thought he had died.

What an awful babysitter I am.

So I woke him up and he moved around and started crying. I apologized and shut the box again to prevent him and his heat from escaping and ran back upstairs. I got a sock and put rice inside. I heated it up and twisted it shut with a tie. When I put it in the box, he clambered over it like it was his ma or a sibling. It was adorable. Then Galen's wife came up and the crowd grew as people started coming back home and the pressure was off me.

Thank goodness.

As they left, I asked if I could warm the sock again because it had completely cooled. I ran up and threw it in the microwave.

I set it on fire.

I didn't take the twist tie off and a flame shot up as soon as I remembered the twist tie. I tossed it in the empty sink and got the mate, poured in more rice, and did it up properly for his ride home (three houses away, mind you).

As we were all admiring him, the rehabber finally called. Hooray! Hopefully the exchange has been made and baby Boomer is now in the right hands.

And not with a babysitter who sets things on fire.

I made the banana bread after he left and I was so distracted that we'll have to see how the banana bread actually turns out. It smells good. Maybe the recipe is FOOLproof!

Then I put a cup of coffee in the microwave for 33 seconds. I wondered why it was still running and glanced at the appliance just in time to see the boiling coffee explode over the top of the cup. 3:33. Oops. I let that sit awhile.

Everything's all cleaned up now. I think I'll go to bed and start over tomorrow!!

Nature Notes and Signs of the Season

You know how some crappy days never seem to end? That was today. From before I left the house for work until after a 4-mile walk, my day was crap from end to end. But as my walk ended, I walked into my backyard and began expanding my garden. Although I am exhausted from a difficult day, I am going to sleep feeling a little better for having played Garden.

Let's start out with the rhubarb. Do you remember the tiny little plant that got started early this spring? This is what it has become.

And folks have picked some already! Tomorrow after work I'm meeting someone I've never met before so she can pick some. One of my students introduced us this morning via email. She makes jam for a farmer's market and she's going to use my pesticide-free rhubarb! I get jam!

Next, these are my chives. I liked chewing them a month ago. I need to put chives in my google machine to learn more, but I like the purple flowers and for my little point and shoot, I thought this came out nicely.
My peonies were perfection yesterday, but a storm was blowing in so I ran out and took photos of them before they became laden with water. They never seem the same after a storm. Again, for my point and shoot camera, I was very happy with this photo:
Lastly, and I see now that I put these in backwards, we expanded my garden this evening!! I decided on the smother method, so cardboard and newsprint went down, was wetted with the hose and then covered with mulch. First is the after photo followed by the before photo.
You can see how the garden has finally become crowded, so this fall I will start moving things around and spreading things out for everyone.
I think Cypress mulch must have a lot of oil in it. I don't have allergies, but my eyes were burning somethin' fierce. I took off my garden gloves and I washed my hands right away. I must have touched my eyes because they started to burn so badly I considered gouging, but decided it was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I just jumped in the shower with my face wash.

Have a nice day.

roses are red, my love

Apparently, this is what happens when you pay attention to your roses:
You also maybe get good camera karma:

And finally, I got my Save the Frogs tote from Rambling Woods! Hooray! I love it.

Using a bag at the store: 5 cents.

Getting a nice little something in the mail on just the day when I needed a surprise pick-me-up: priceless.

How does your garden grow?

I missed Nature Notes this week because I can't keep track of time. Obviously. I will set aside the RHUBARB OVERTAKES LOCAL GARDEN photos for this week's Nature Notes. I'm sure you will all be salivating and anticipating the marvel you'll experience.

Let's start off with my li-bud/red-lac tree that a few of you are very well acquainted with:

Well, green on green doesn't do it justice. I will try for another from a different angle. See the tree? See at the bottom all the stems that look like suckers? Is that what they're called? Suckers? What the heck am I talking about? Where did that come from? Someone must have told me that long ago. Anyway, those stems at the bottom are a lilac shrub.

Stop laughing.

Next we have a daisy of some sort that I planted at least two if not three years ago and this is the first year it has ever produced flowers and what do I get? Chernobyl daisy.

More good news and this is wonderful because last year I thought my Columbine had died. But this year it is blooming! On my route through the neighborhood I see purple and white Columbine and I want me some (go K-State!). I relocated this plant last year because although the tag says "sun" the tag apparently is a big fat liar. It is now in the shade of the largest Peony and blooming, so when the tag says "sun" I no longer believe a word of it.

Didn't I mention how I had neglected roses for many years and wondered aloud if I could pamper them and be forgiven? It looks like we may be on the right road. I made a bucket o'weak coffee and destroyed some egg shells in the blender. I gave it all to the roses. I then pruned them of their dead stuff and opened up the middles so they could breathe. Apparently, and you know how I live and die by the google machine, roses enjoy breathing. So I pruned. And look! These two are blooming while the other isn't blooming, but is putting out new little leaves like it has some intentions for later on.

Four flowers on each! Previously the one below only threw up one long-stemmed rose and then did nothing all summer long but simmer in anger and resentment.

Maybe I've been forgiven by the roses, but the jury is out on the li-bud treeshrub.

Ode to orange cupcakes

No actual oranges were harmed in the making of this treat. It says "natural orange flavor" right on the box, which is a dead giveaway to the skeptic in me that there is nothing orange within. Also note the appearance of the orange on the box: not an actual orange but an orange sort of shaped cupcake.

Truth in advertising!

In Iowa I can't find a box of these and only rarely do they sell the two-pack. When I was in Ohio, I went grocery shopping and brought these back in my bag. I have eaten them all and I don't regret a single one.

Have you watched Unwrapped on the Food Network? They go to places like Hostess and show how treats are made and they actually look like they might be yummy like when your mom made your 8-year-old self homemade cupcakes. I knew someone who worked at Nabisco and he said Oreos and chocolate chip cookies coming right off the line were out of this world.

At the grocery store this evening I bought a box of nutty bars. The teenagers at my check-out were commenting on them and I told them I bought nutty bars because I don't like them and they got a chuckle out of that. So I pointed out that Hostess ho-hos, Suzy Qs and Twinkies were on sale but I didn't buy them.

They both got a kick out of that as well and laughed, "Because obviously! You would eat them!"

Catch my interactive comedy show on Checkout 9.

I'm here all week.