Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Talking about (myself) blogging: Happy New Year!

So, I confess that I'm pretty lame these days. I haven't blogged in a while even though I had bloggable things happen.

I made another gingerbread house this year. I stored it in the oven. No, I did not set it on fire this year. Sad. I threw it away yesterday. Sorry you didn't get to see it. It was on the news, though. That's on my DVR at home. If you missed it and want to stop by, let me know. I'll leave the back door unlocked. 

Just kidding. 

We had a kitty cat visit us. He's gone now. I have cute photos. Somewhere. That was tiring, but worthwhile. He lives in Oakland, California now. 

So I had at least two bloggable things happen and still I ignored all of you who still wonder to yourselves if I'm blogging or just lazy (as I was recently asked) (thanks, Jeff). 

I used to read a blog every day called Mommy Wants Vodka. I now read it a few times a year. (Hi, Aunt Becky!). She wrote a meme and then didn't like it, so she wrote another one. I reproduce the second one here, although she gets into the thing about purple being a flavor. (Purple is already a flavor) (Duh). 

Also, the mood I'm in today (and over the weekend) would have me spilling my guts in ways that I'm sure none of you want to hear. Let's see...it's just one of the moods in which I feel like I've already said too much. Anything more would be nauseating. 

So here's Aunt Becky's meme in which I try very, very hard to (use more parentheses in this post) and keep from being serious about anything. 

1) What does Meme mean?
Clearly an extension of the Id and Ego. Meme is the word used to describe a tool used by a person for whom blogging alone is not nearly self-focused enough. Use it in a sentence: On my blog I use a meme to entertain myself by focusing more on myself than previously possible without said meme. 

2) 2011 – Was it all you’d hoped it would be?
It sucked for a lot of people. A couple times I thought it was going to be awful, but it never turned out. As a matter of fact, and I'm sorry to bother you with this if you're one of the millions who hated 2011, but it turned out to be a pretty good year. 

3) Did you watch the Royal Wedding?
I watched part of it. I thought that if I didn't, I would be sorry. I didn't want to be left out of any possible drama, like the mother of the groom standing up and walking out in the middle of the ceremony and later calling the bride a b*tch (true stories, same wedding, Kansas 1995). Unfortunately the only drama was that stupid hat whatshername wore. 

4) Where are your pants?
Funny you should ask. I had this pair of dark blue slacks back in 1985. I was a skinny teenager, but naturally I thought I was a fat mutant and these pants made me look so thin I practically disappeared when I walked into a room. Then one day they disappeared. It's a mystery that haunts me to this day. 

5) Is Justin Bieber human or some sort of robot?
Who's Justin Beiber? Is he that kid with the 1970s hairdo? 

6) If you had only one thing to wish for this coming year, what would it be?
Just one thing? If I had just one wish for this year it would be to have at least nine other wishes. 

7) Would you call yourself a “social media maven?”
Nope. I tried last year to do a work blog (I still want that) and Twitter. But now I find myself unable to make myself blog regularly, I have gleefully ignored Twitter for months and I'm trying to control Facebook time. 

8 ) If you had to take three things to a desert island (let’s assume you have ample food and water), what would they be?
Things, not people, right? I want to be clear. 
See? I take this stuff too seriously. I'm actually sitting here thinking it through, being logical and trying to analyze which items would be 1. most useful and 2. serve double duty. I would just take socks, soap and a ponytail holder. And a debit card. And rum. 

9) If you had the ability to banish certain offenses to an island where they would be rehabilitated into being okay again, what would those offenses be?
Driving as though you're the only person on the road. Oh, don't think you aren't guilty, my friend. Away with you! 
Also, meetings that last longer than 10 minutes and that's being generous. Why have meetings when they've invented email? You can make your point and not have to be in the same room with people whose opinion you don't want in the first place. 

10) How do YOU think the air conditioner works?
Anyone who has lived by a glacier or run around a lake in the winter can tell you. 

11) Do you ACTUALLY think you can make money blogging?
See, this is more about her own stuff. I never thought I could make money blogging. I can barely blog. If I were making money off this, it would be epic and everyone would love me. 

12) There’s a lot of talk in the blog world about microblogging (The Tumblr, The Twitter, The Facebook) taking over traditional blogs. Do you think that’s the case?
Again, this is herself, but I left it because of what I said earlier about blogs and Twitter and Facebook. They suck the life right out of you. I'm trying to find more time for running, not sharing more of my inane, revealing babble across the universe so then later I can say, "Oh, crap. Did I put that the wrong way?" The problem with microblogging is that you say less with less, but you're still talking. OK, that's the mood I'm in lately - I'm tired of hearing myself talk. Also, commenting on blogs. I love getting comments, but I'm realizing that commenting on blogs makes me sound dumb because I might mean, "Hey, you're so right about the sky being blue. It's perfectly lovely. Tell me more about how much you love the blue sky." But pithy is difficult. I end up saying something like, "Blue sky. Yay! And then I ate a pickle." Microblogging requires pithy and I ain't got it. Evidence: See how long this one answer is RE: pithy. Also? Pithy wasn't even an answer to the original question.
13) If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?
Well, besides the obvious, it would be to take a deep breath, stop anticipating problems and care A LOT LESS about other people. 

14) If you could’ve told yourself this time last year one thing, what would it be?
What you thought you could do last year was only going to make you exhausted and nobody cares, so why bother.

15) If you could have one Super Power, what would it be?
I would be a time lord. Obviously. 

16) If you could do one thing you can’t currently do, and do it well, what would it be?
Play the piano and sing along. I can do neither. If I could, I would be far more entertaining (let's face it, also more annoying) than I am now. 

17) What surprises you about yourself?
I'm surprised at my self-discipline. I used to think I had none, but really I have it by the bucket loads. So the reality of this is when I'm stalking you or stuffing candy into my mouth, the issue isn't self-discipline. The issue is that at that moment, I must want to do what I'm doing. Ah, liberation! 

18) What was your favorite blog post/tweet of the past year?
It was the time I blogged about becoming a runner although I now wonder if I really wrote it in the best way I could have. In retrospect (like my comments), I think it fell short and sounds all wrong. So then it was on Veteran's Day when I blogged about the kid at the school program who talked about his dad. That kid needs an awesome 2012. 

19) Do you REALLY think “purple should be a flavor?”
As stated previously, purple already is a flavor. So is red, by the way. 

20) If you could make one outlandish wish for 2012, what would it be?
I would wish to have someone at my house every morning to fetch me coffee, choose my clothes, do my hair and apply some makeup to my visage before warming my car, helping me into my coat and running the sweeper. If you want this job and can handle my hair, please apply within. 

P.S. If I could figure out why Blogger sometimes can't do line breaks properly I think I would be rich and famous and have a statue in a park somewhere.