Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker

Candy is tricky to make.

That’s the first thing I have to say because I’m sure this recipe was tested and I’m sure I’m the one who did something wrong. I have an idea that maybe it boiled too long.

Wait while I put some of my ideas about candy making mistakes into the google machine. Stand by.

I’m back already to say that so far, I’m a genius. I used the correct pan. I used a wooden spoon. It’s not like I’ve never seen candy made. I must have absorbed something somewhere. Maybe my idea about the mistake is right. Stand by.

Behold! It’s an hour later, but I think I found the problem(s):

1    1.  If you're using molds, prepare the molds with lollipop sticks, spray with oil, and place them on a cookie sheet or marble slab.

2    2.    Adding it (the flavoring) sooner causes most of the flavor to cook away.

I didn’t actually search for an hour. I got sidetracked by bright, shiny objects. Big surprise.

The recipe I used said nothing about greasing the molds. There was also a suggestion that you turn a cookie sheet upside down and put the molds on that. Or a marble slab, but I don’t have one. While I don’t think I added the flavoring too soon, maybe I did. If I did, it was seconds too soon.

These lollipops were made with Captain Morgan rum. They’re supposed to you know, taste like rum. They don’t. They mellowed into a very light, warm flavor with a slight taste of butterscotch.

In short, it tastes the way you think liquor should taste when you’re a kid, but then you drink your first gin martini or your first straight shot of whiskey and you realize it could strip varnish off an old table.  

So here’s the problem: the recipe casually mentions peeling the mold away from the lollipop or the lollipop away from the mold or something that sounds easy but in reality wasn’t easy at all. 

The lollipops did what hard candy does. It was hard. They didn’t peel. They didn’t budge. Finally, I tried to push on them from the bottom and they did what hard candy does. They cracked.

Realizing I was not going to have yummy lollipops because I’d already sampled some of the mixture, I decided to try popping them out of the molds. They popped all right. They popped into pieces. I stored them overnight and yearned for the flavors to get to know one another. Perhaps even marry into a delicious, rum-soaked passionate affair.

They did no such thing.

In my post candy-making despair, I’ve eaten three of them. I wrote the place from whence I gathered the recipe. They apologized, but had no tips to offer. So I decided not to try again. 

Also? In my frustration during the actual candy-making debacle, I threw away the mold.

Makes me think the expression “After they made you, they broke the mold” could be used in a good way, could be used in a bad way.