Put down that snack and exercise 70s style

Since most of the country is snowbound, let's take a look at how you could spend your day if it were 1970 and you had ordered your exercise equipment out of the Fall catalog.

You could hunch over and take a run on a treadmill that is not as long as your stride. I think this might cause you to hop your way to fitness. Or you could sit in a dry sauna that looks like a sci-fi alien probing machine. Or you could cross-country ski in your basement with the Nordic Track prototype below:

Perhaps you would like to ride a bike through Tuscany. Hopefully you have a good imagination for the Tuscany part, but Sears had the bikes. In the way far future, will athletes look at these models and wonder when biomechanics was born?

Official text from a publication in 2918: "As late as 1970, bicycles were too short for people. Their legs never extended properly. Was this from poor biomechanics? Was it inexperienced cyclists? Did humans grow by massive leaps and bounds in 1970 before the bicycle industry could tackle the problem? In the same century, school desks in Japan were too small for the gargantuan children being born, perhaps these exercycles were left over from an earlier era when beds are known to be much smaller than only 50 years later..."

I'm confused by one thing on this page below. The bike on the left simulates cycling and rowing, but the image in between is riding a horse. Any ideas out there? Let's just leave that one for now and move forward with color.

It's really a shame that only a small number of pages in the 1970 catalog used color. Get your crayons and follow along: The bike with the lady on it has a sunshine yellow frame and a vinyl wood-look panel on either side. The synchronized-action exerciser has an avocado frame. I hope your crayon box has avocado. I imagine in 1970 Crayola had the shade. Everybody else did.

Um. I never quite understood these. When I was a kid, I thought these were a joke for sitcoms and cartoons. Obviously not, but I'm still not sure about the purpose of jiggling. At any rate, pull of your shoes and wiggle your toes in the plush moss green carpeting. Seriously, yes. The copy does mention wiggling your toes while you jiggle. Is this for entertainment or exercise? Only you can decide.
Why spend $4.77 on the Daisy Decor Twister shown below? I have a free idea:

Well they've got a new dance and it goes like this/Yeah the name of the dance is Peppermint Twist/Well you like it like this, the Peppermint Twist/It goes round and round, up and down/Round and round, up and down/Round and round and a up and down/And a one two three kick, one two three jump

So enjoy your day off at home with the kiddos, remember to stetch safely and don't hurt yourselves. If you fall off that Sears horse, get back on and ride to Tuscany.