Thursday, March 1, 2012

I went back to Target today...

Target,
I went back to your store today. I like you a little bit still, but it grows smaller everyday. I walked through your shoe section and I wanted to send a little thank you note. If I ever decide to throw my career away and start over again as, oh...let's say a hooker or a stripper, I now know where to buy my shoes. In fact, if there were any hookers or strippers within my circle of influence, I would have called them on the spot. The colors, the towering heels, the straps, the sheer flash and gaudy show as you look down the aisle! My heart races! I assume your HQ hired their new shoe buyer from Frederick's of Hollywood. Nice move: every city has a few working girls.

Love,
Me

P.S. I just went for underwear and again there you disappointed me in depths of hatred hitherto unknown in ways I shall not explain in this note.


Dear Allrecipes.com,
Peanut butter pie. Just peanut butter. No chocolate. Not everyone thinks chocolate and peanut butter belong together. Peanut butter is worthy on its' own. Chocolate does not, in fact, enhance everything for everyone. I've had this on my chest for a really long time. Thanks for listening.

Gratefully,
Me
---------------------------
I think I've gotten it all off my chest now. What I need is a camera. I blogged more when I carried a camera with me. Then one day I took my inexpensive digital camera ($110!) out into a snowstorm. It hasn't been the same since. But if you could have seen the shoes at Target...

Happy March and hello to springtime! Not so much springtime in the upper Midwest, but in most of the rest of the country, I've heard rumors that it's getting close to spring.

4 comments:

Lauren said...

Loved this. And though I don't see it as a career, I can enjoy an insane hooker-esque heel once in a while. Caron, appreciate the humor but anti chocolate and PB? Really? This was awesome.

Rambling Woods said...

I so needed a laugh..thank you...

gigihawaii said...

I came here via Naquillity and am taking a look around. Wish you would update your blog! I have added you to my favorites list.

Anonymous said...

just stopping by to say hello